The lovely, and beautiful Ariella of Childhood Magic is taking part in a Self Portrait Challenge. Being inspired by her honesty, I decided to take part as well.
As many of you know I use my own self as a model for the items I craft for our Shop. Not that I think I am a model...HARDLY. But I do like to show things on a person, and since I am not likely to go and grab a complete stranger to do it, I am the guinea pig.
This picture below is one of my favorites. I took it yesterday, and it was dusk. The lighting was fair, my bags under my eyes are apparent, but not horrible. My hair is tousled from the pool water, and the bun I removed from my hair just prior to clicking this picture. The wind was breezy, and my hair flowed in the breeze. I am untouched, without makeup, and 100% Laura here.
Usually I analyze my pictures for my "horns" sticking out of the edges of my nose, for my hair showing the thinning spots, for my arms showing their beefy upper areas, for my legs showing any cellulite, and for the waist band of my pants indenting my waist. But this day...none of that happened, and I was content.
Today I am the proud mama of a 6 year old BOY. An amazing, wonderful, special, growing before my eyes little boy who I love more than life itself.
My boy, nestled in his Auntie Jella's arms the day after he was born.
Feeling sentimental, I feel it is time I share with you my Birth Experience, since I never posted it before.
Me, a few days before he was born. 175 pounds of loveliness...LOL
July 11th 2004 3 AM: I was on my couch sleeping due to it being too HOT in our bed. Come on people, July 11th...HOT! I went to the bathroom and came back to lie down, but felt wet. I went back to the bathroom, and came back again, same thing. Hmmmmmm, maybe that is my water leaking.
5AM: Same trickle, nothing much. Wake Jay up. Then we head off to the hospital after paging my Midwife Mary. Today is the actual due date of Sam's Birth, and it is uncanny that it is happening. I drove us there...I think that is hilarious!
7AM: Mary comes to the hospital, tests the fluid, and tells me that I am leaking amniotic fluid.
Morning: Julia, and my Mom arrive. I STUPIDLY, and FEVERISHLY in an excited moment of weakness agree to a Pitocin drip. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH...BAD BAD BAD IDEA!
Late Morning: Mild contractions, progressing to moderate uncomfortable contractions over the hours. With every increase of that drip on come the painful piggyback contractions~ARGHHHHH... Mom and Julia and Jay are there, my cousins (Emily and Annie) stop in every now and then (they are RN's at the hospital we work at also). Getting more and more uncomfortable.
Julia, Me, Emily, Annie in my early labor phase
Early Afternoon: Feeling like crap, hate the Pitocin. Offered and accepted Nubain. Wears off quicker than I would like, and I want more. The nurses inform me that you can have a maximum dose of two doses. CRAP! Ok...so I wait a bit.
Later Afternoon: I really do not remember much other than me being very hot, and very uncomfortable. Ask for more Nubain. That lasts for a bit, and I relax. Then it starts up again.
Early Evening: My Inlaws arrive, and my dad comes over after work. Julia and Mom and Jay are still here, and my cousins pop in again. I am currently 5 cm. OMG...I am in agony. I AM A WUSS! BIG BIG WUSS.
6:00pm'ish: Paged Dr K. who is on his way down to give me a spinal. I need something more...like I said...I am a wuss! So at about 6:30 he comes down and administers the spinal. I am in HEAVEN from about
6:45-7:45. THEN IT STARTS up again. WHAT???? I thought this would last longer! What is going on? I want more!!!! Mary checks me...10 cm. WHAT??? In 1 hour I went from 5-10 cm.?
I am so NOT ready to push.
7:50: WALK to the bathroom during contractions so I don't pee on the birthing bed, and walk back.
8:00: Begin pushing with the contractions. To my surprise it actually makes the pain feel better. I NEVER once felt the urge to push believe it or not, I just pushed because they told me to, and to stop the pain from the contractions. In the mean time Jay, Mom, and Julia (Sam's Auntie Jella) were in the room. Jay and Julia (who by the way was 7 months pregnant with Eben) held my legs, POOR JULIA!, and wonderful Mom took a video.
I am SO grateful for this video, you will see why later.
8:30ish: Still pushing with every contraction, apparently at this time more family members were peaking their heads around the privacy curtain. Modesty out the window because Ladies...I WAS FULLY NAKED, I had asked if I could take off my gown because I was SO HOT. Lovely huh? Must have been a site to behold. HAHAHA. Getting no where with the old pushing. His head was there, but not able to fully crown. Mary said that I needed an episiotomy. FINE WITH ME! Go for it...end this torture~poor kid was hitting up against a brick wall what was not budging after over 30 minutes of pushing.
8:45: Episiotomy (got that on video...UGHHHHH). Finally relief! Pushed, and his head crowned. Pushed again, more little blond hair revealed...I felt it too!
8:58 EXACTLY...I reached down with Julia's assistance, and pulled my little boy out of my body and placed him on my. He was facing his Auntie Jella, and not making a sound. A calm, wide eyed, observing, pink little slippery babe. I had done it, and he was here! BORN ON HIS DUE DATE! Such a punctual lad.
Sam Hayden 7 pounds 13 ounces 21 inches long
Me and my rooting lad a few hours old
Now the last 45 minutes of the birth, and the next 4 hours are a BLUR. A very distant, half remembered, half forgotten memory. I hemorrhaged after his birth. My IV infiltrated and was restarted, I then received Methergine for the hemorrhaging, was sutured (tore internally, and then the obvious episiotomy suturing), received Demerol for the pain of the suturing. Overall I was basically a shell of myself in EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE NEXT PHOTOS!!! A smiling, drugged, exhausted, shell.
Due to the Demerol, and probably the blood loss, I do NOT remember pushing, nor the pain, birthing Sam, pulling him out of my body, or any of the pictures that were taken. I do not remember conversations with my loved ones, I do not remember ANYTHING. The first memory I have is that about 10:30pm Jay and everyone left, and I showered. He came back with a grilled chicken salad, and we ate while we admired our newest addition. The little boy who made our family complete.
Mom, Jay, Me, Julia, Dad
Jay, Marilyn, Me, Dan
Gram and Pa
Auntie Jella and Sam...Eben is in her belly!
Mom and Sam
Dad and Sam
So, that being said, a special thanks to my mom for taking those amazing videos of his birth, although I still feel as though I am watching someone elses birth video, and not my own due to the drug induced amnesia, I am so grateful to have a documentary of what transpired since my memory was erased.
My Love 2 Days Old
Thanks for reading my story. I have never shared this, feels good to write it down. Laura